For most men, the idea of having sex with more than one woman at the same time is a major turn on. If their significant other were to suggest a threesome then they would be very happy. Many women have had the fantasy of being with two guys at the same time. It would seem like this would be a great way to extend your play time, right?
Yes, and no.
If your relationship is strong and can handle the emotional upheaval that could be caused by added person, then go for it. Unfortunately, most relationships aren't where they need to be to include a third person. Adding a third member to the bed can cause jealousy, low self-esteem and possessiveness. Frequently these things aren't discovered until the couple is in the midst of a threesome or after the encounter.
If you decide to go for it, here are some tips for making it work.
Ulterior Motives
Are you both doing this for the right reasons? Do you want to share this experience because the idea turns both of you on and you think it would be fun? This should bring you closer together sexually, not drive you apart. Don’t do it if either of you are thinking about ending the relationship or if one of you is bored with your sex life.
Communication
Honest and open communication is essential. Make sure to lay a lot of confidence building groundwork with your partner. If the idea of sharing you is making your partner at all nervous, they needs to know you are totally committed to them and are doing this to enhance your sexual relationship. Don’t overdo it, but let it come naturally. If you have any concerns you should share them too. Doing this will increase the chances of a successful encounter significantly.
Finding a Third
Picking the right person to share your bed for the night is a major undertaking. This situation requires just the right combination of comfort and detachment. Never, ever suggest one of your ex's or even someone you've hooked up with before. In fact, your best course of action is to let your partner choose, helping you to avoid saying the wrong name and causing a whole mess of emotional turmoil. Most likely, the person will be a complete stranger.
Approach this like you would finding any sex partner. Make sure everyone gets tested for STIs and share that information with everyone involved. Even if everyone is disease free make sure you have condoms, spermicide, dental dams and any other contraceptive devices you feel comfortable with. Don’t forget to use them! They are there to make sure all you take home with you is a great memory.
Finding the Right Location
Do not do it in the bed you share together or at either of your homes, and don't do it at the third person's place either. The best place for the encounter is someplace neutral. Book a hotel room for the night, which will help make the occasion seem more special and out of the ordinary. Don't choose a place where you're likely to go to again for other reasons, if it turns out badly you're not going to want to have the reminder.
Ground Rules
Establish ground rules that apply to everyone involved. What exactly is allowed? What isn’t? Get very specific. Hashing out the details ahead of time will save you a lot of trouble down the road. Once you’ve confirmed the dos and don’ts with your partner make sure you've shared this information with the third member of the group. Find out from them what they're willing to do and what they won't do.
DO NOT violate these boundaries, no matter how tempted you are. Stick to the plan and do only what you decided on earlier. If it goes well and it is something you're interested in doing again then you can decide to try the other things.
Dividing Your Attention
Make absolutely sure that you don’t pay more attention to your third party than you do to your partner. If your partner is afraid of anything, it is probably that you think the other person is more attractive. Don’t let your partner feel neglected. A good way to avoid this is to encourage everyone to pay attention to each other and make yours a supporting role to both of them.
Have a great time and let us know how it goes for you!
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Roleplaying Fun
Role playing is a great way to deepen and enrich your relationship. When both parties feel safe and secure, this playing often results in you both finding out more about each other -- what you want done to you and for you. It will broaden both of your horizons and allow your fantasy world to be revealed. Expectations can be thrown out the window, traditions flushed down the toilet. The time you spend role playing will be well spent communicating with and pleasuring yourself and your lover.
Stripper
A lap dance is a deeply sensual act, and when done properly, leaves both participants feeling rather randy. If the person playing the dancer is very conscious of their body there are a few things you can do to help ease their concerns. Dim the lights or use red lights (covering a normal lamp with red material also works). Any lumps and bumps are smoothed out. Keep in mind that the removal of all clothes is not strictly necessary, so let your partner know they can keep on some sexy clothes. As long as the moves are hot and the lighting is appropriate, it will look great and the effect will be the same.
You’re a dancer in a club and are asked to do a private dance. You take the client into your private booth and close the curtains, then proceeds to do your best striptease. There are rules: no touching and no kissing. He may put money down her garter belt. He must keep his clothes on.
A sexy twist on the paid strip scenario is for it to be impromptu. For example, your partner locks you in the garden then gives you a decadent strip tease through the window where you can see but not touch or get in the house until they say.
Boss and Secretary
It is supposed that the boss is in control and calls the shots, but when sex is involved, this shifts to a dangerously sexy level where the employee or secretary is actually calling the shots. The employee loves this because it gives them the power in that particular situation, even if they have none (or very little) at other times at work.
The secretary hides underneath the boss’ big desk before an important meeting. The secretary performs oral sex on the boss while they are in the middle of an important business deal. The clients are sitting right in front of the desk. They have to keep a straight face and continue on with the meeting. Alternatively, they may be on the phone (doing this for real is fun) and has to continue with the phone conversation without faltering.
The secretary wears some very, very sexy underwear to work. She has to try to show her boss what she is wearing while still maintaining a “professional” appearance. She teases him as she does the photocopying, while she puts papers on his desk, while he is talking to her. She has to seduce him without taking her clothes off. A strip tease can also be incorporated into this scenario, where he cannot touch her until she says so.
Photographer and Model
The sexy part about this is the no touching rule, which leads to imaginations running rampant. The photographer and model scene is great for watching each other and acting out fantasies. It can be used to encourage your partner to be something they may have always wanted to be -- a devil in front of a camera, but with no proper opportunity to do so.
Lighting is incredibly important. Use props so your partner can cover themself in key areas should they want. You want then to be making love to the camera, and the person behind it. The beauty here is basically ordering each other to do things. Use a filmless camera or a digital camera then erase the pictures immediately following your sexy session.
A photographer has a studio set up and wishes for the model to pose for some sexy nudes. When the model arrives they drink some champagne and discuss the shots. Once set up, the photographer tells then how to stand and pose with whatever props the photographer likes.
The photographer has a new model prepared for some nudes they have to do for a client. The theme the client has asked for is “dripping sexuality with sophistication” -- the client wants the model to express their sexuality in whatever way he or the photographer deems appropriate, using any props necessary.
These are just a few scenes you can try. Let your imagination run rampant. If developed correctly, comfortably and with sex appeal, role playing can become a successful way to get what you want out of your sex life without having to leave the house. As always: explore and enjoy -- you’ll both be better for it.
Stripper
A lap dance is a deeply sensual act, and when done properly, leaves both participants feeling rather randy. If the person playing the dancer is very conscious of their body there are a few things you can do to help ease their concerns. Dim the lights or use red lights (covering a normal lamp with red material also works). Any lumps and bumps are smoothed out. Keep in mind that the removal of all clothes is not strictly necessary, so let your partner know they can keep on some sexy clothes. As long as the moves are hot and the lighting is appropriate, it will look great and the effect will be the same.
You’re a dancer in a club and are asked to do a private dance. You take the client into your private booth and close the curtains, then proceeds to do your best striptease. There are rules: no touching and no kissing. He may put money down her garter belt. He must keep his clothes on.
A sexy twist on the paid strip scenario is for it to be impromptu. For example, your partner locks you in the garden then gives you a decadent strip tease through the window where you can see but not touch or get in the house until they say.
Boss and Secretary
It is supposed that the boss is in control and calls the shots, but when sex is involved, this shifts to a dangerously sexy level where the employee or secretary is actually calling the shots. The employee loves this because it gives them the power in that particular situation, even if they have none (or very little) at other times at work.
The secretary hides underneath the boss’ big desk before an important meeting. The secretary performs oral sex on the boss while they are in the middle of an important business deal. The clients are sitting right in front of the desk. They have to keep a straight face and continue on with the meeting. Alternatively, they may be on the phone (doing this for real is fun) and has to continue with the phone conversation without faltering.
The secretary wears some very, very sexy underwear to work. She has to try to show her boss what she is wearing while still maintaining a “professional” appearance. She teases him as she does the photocopying, while she puts papers on his desk, while he is talking to her. She has to seduce him without taking her clothes off. A strip tease can also be incorporated into this scenario, where he cannot touch her until she says so.
Photographer and Model
The sexy part about this is the no touching rule, which leads to imaginations running rampant. The photographer and model scene is great for watching each other and acting out fantasies. It can be used to encourage your partner to be something they may have always wanted to be -- a devil in front of a camera, but with no proper opportunity to do so.
Lighting is incredibly important. Use props so your partner can cover themself in key areas should they want. You want then to be making love to the camera, and the person behind it. The beauty here is basically ordering each other to do things. Use a filmless camera or a digital camera then erase the pictures immediately following your sexy session.
A photographer has a studio set up and wishes for the model to pose for some sexy nudes. When the model arrives they drink some champagne and discuss the shots. Once set up, the photographer tells then how to stand and pose with whatever props the photographer likes.
The photographer has a new model prepared for some nudes they have to do for a client. The theme the client has asked for is “dripping sexuality with sophistication” -- the client wants the model to express their sexuality in whatever way he or the photographer deems appropriate, using any props necessary.
These are just a few scenes you can try. Let your imagination run rampant. If developed correctly, comfortably and with sex appeal, role playing can become a successful way to get what you want out of your sex life without having to leave the house. As always: explore and enjoy -- you’ll both be better for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
