Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Developing Skills: The Blow Job

Today I was talking to a friend of mine about his girlfriend and how she refuses to give him a blow job. Her reasons are "you're too big" and "my mouth is too small" to which he replies "porn stars with smaller mouths suck bigger cocks than mine." How is this possible? Practice, practice, practice!

If you're in a committed relationship the practice options are pretty limited if you're looking for a human to work with on this. But there are many other ways to practice and all can be done when your partner isn't around. This would be a great way to surprise him for his birthday or your anniversary!

Dildos
The best thing to practice on that is the closest to the real thing is a dildo, preferably a flexible one. You can start off with a toy that is shorter and not as thick as your partner and work your way up. The bonus is that when you buy the toys they can be used in other ways with your partner.

You can use the toy to practice your licking technique then take just the tip into your mouth and work on stretching your mouth wide enough to accomodate the dildo and how to cover your teeth so you don't accidentally bite down on your partner. Once you've got that down you can start taking more into your mouth and work on swallowing as much of it as you can.

Always make sure the toy is clean before you start using it for practice!

Ice Cream
When I was in my late teens I worked at a used paperback books store and I discovered a book that changed my life. It was called The Sensuous Woman. I had never had sex or even had a chance on the horizon to have sex but I ate up this book. I still have it as a reference book in my sex stuff library. The one thing I learned from the book that has served me well has been using ice cream to learn how to better please your partner.

My favorite choice for ice cream is a medium soft serve. It might be a bit thick when you first get started but you can practice your licking technique to get it down to a more managable size. I tend to form the ice cream into a somewhat phallic shape that ends up being about 5-6" long. Then I start going down on it and seeing how much of it I can put in my mouth. I am always pleased as punch when my lips touch the top of the cone.

While this is my favorite method for practicing (especially on a hot summer evening!) it can be bad for your waistline and your wallet.

Bananas
A peeled banana is another way to practice and is a bit more healthy. They're reasonably thin and more shaped like a penis would be when you're going down on it. This is also a good way to see how your 'teeth hiding' skills are going because you'll definitely leave an impression on the soft fruit if your teeth are exposed.

Gagging
We all have a gag reflex, to one extent or another, and a penis shoved to the back of your mouth is very likely to trigger yours. To keep from having the gag reflex from happening when his cock goes deep into your mouth you need to get used to having something there. Some people can never learn to control their gag reflex because it is just to sensitive but your partner will be thrilled if you are able to so they can fill your mouth with their cock.

To Swallow or Not to Swallow
Swallowing is something that you need to discuss with your partner once you start giving your partner blow jobs. I personally don't like to swallow but will as a treat for my boyfriend every now and again. Being able to finish the job in your mouth is something that will make your partner very happy but it isn't required.

This is also something else that can trigger your gag reflex. Again, practice makes perfect. Ask your partner can give you a heads up when it is coming you'll be better prepared for the arrival of the thick, warm liquid. Remember, not all blow jobs have to end in ejaculation. A blow job can be used just for foreplay purposes.

If you decide to let him cum in your mouth do not spit it out. It is really insulting. Your partner most likely would rather not have you try than to have you do this. I don't mind having my face or breasts covered with his cum and it is an alternative that your partner may also enjoy as it is something you see in porn movies but don't really get to do in real life (or so I've been told!).

Advanced: Deep Throating
Being able to deep throat is a very special skill and requires you to learn how to tilt your head and what positions work best to allow all of his cock to fill your mouth. This is best practiced with your partner when you're comfortable with giving him 'regular' blow jobs. Your partner will be over the moon if you're able to learn this skill.

For me I've found the best thing is when I'm kneeling near the edge of the bed and he's standing next to the bed with on foot on the floor and the other on the bed next to me. That puts his cock just enough below the level of my mouth and allows me to create a tunnel for his cock that goes down my throat. You may have to adjust this depending on how high your bed is and how tall your partner is.

Practice, Practice, Practice
Like with any other skill, you need to keep practicing it to keep your jaw flexible and to improve your technique. If your partner tells you he likes it when you do X or Y then that is what you need to practice. The best thing you can do once you start giving your partner a blow job is to listen to what he says works for him. He may not express it in words but his moans and sighs will tell you everything you need to know.

As always, have fun with it!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Liberator Ramps Up Sex Play

There are so many different toys and pieces of equipment that you can add to your sex fun. The Liberator Bedroom Adventures Series is made up of pillows, ramps, wedges and other fun shapes and furniture to help make having sex more enjoyable and encourages you to try new positions. While not exactly cheap, the Liberator series offers a wide range of fun and is durable as well as easily washable. They also sell unique toys and cater to those on the kinkier side of things as well.

I will definitely be talking to the boyfriend about getting something from here for our play time!