Threesomes

For most men, the idea of having sex with more than one woman at the same time is a major turn on. If their significant other were to suggest a threesome then they would be very happy. Many women have had the fantasy of being with two guys at the same time. It would seem like this would be a great way to extend your play time, right?

Yes, and no.

If your relationship is strong and can handle the emotional upheaval that could be caused by added person, then go for it. Unfortunately, most relationships aren't where they need to be to include a third person. Adding a third member to the bed can cause jealousy, low self-esteem and possessiveness. Frequently these things aren't discovered until the couple is in the midst of a threesome or after the encounter.

If you decide to go for it, here are some tips for making it work.

Ulterior Motives
Are you both doing this for the right reasons? Do you want to share this experience because the idea turns both of you on and you think it would be fun? This should bring you closer together sexually, not drive you apart. Don’t do it if either of you are thinking about ending the relationship or if one of you is bored with your sex life.

Communication
Honest and open communication is essential. Make sure to lay a lot of confidence building groundwork with your partner. If the idea of sharing you is making your partner at all nervous, they needs to know you are totally committed to them and are doing this to enhance your sexual relationship. Don’t overdo it, but let it come naturally. If you have any concerns you should share them too. Doing this will increase the chances of a successful encounter significantly.

Finding a Third
Picking the right person to share your bed for the night is a major undertaking. This situation requires just the right combination of comfort and detachment. Never, ever suggest one of your ex's or even someone you've hooked up with before. In fact, your best course of action is to let your partner choose, helping you to avoid saying the wrong name and causing a whole mess of emotional turmoil. Most likely, the person will be a complete stranger.

Approach this like you would finding any sex partner. Make sure everyone gets tested for STIs and share that information with everyone involved. Even if everyone is disease free make sure you have condoms, spermicide, dental dams and any other contraceptive devices you feel comfortable with. Don’t forget to use them! They are there to make sure all you take home with you is a great memory.

Finding the Right Location
Do not do it in the bed you share together or at either of your homes, and don't do it at the third person's place either. The best place for the encounter is someplace neutral. Book a hotel room for the night, which will help make the occasion seem more special and out of the ordinary. Don't choose a place where you're likely to go to again for other reasons, if it turns out badly you're not going to want to have the reminder.

Ground Rules
Establish ground rules that apply to everyone involved. What exactly is allowed? What isn’t? Get very specific. Hashing out the details ahead of time will save you a lot of trouble down the road. Once you’ve confirmed the dos and don’ts with your partner make sure you've shared this information with the third member of the group. Find out from them what they're willing to do and what they won't do.

DO NOT violate these boundaries, no matter how tempted you are. Stick to the plan and do only what you decided on earlier. If it goes well and it is something you're interested in doing again then you can decide to try the other things.

Dividing Your Attention
Make absolutely sure that you don’t pay more attention to your third party than you do to your partner. If your partner is afraid of anything, it is probably that you think the other person is more attractive. Don’t let your partner feel neglected. A good way to avoid this is to encourage everyone to pay attention to each other and make yours a supporting role to both of them.

Have a great time and let us know how it goes for you!