The Warm Up: How to Get in the Mood

One thing that I have always enjoyed about sex is that so much of it can happen outside the bedroom. These are things that can help to get you 'in the mood', and also give your partner a heads up that you're in the mood. No, I'm not talking about smoldering glances and come hither looks, though those can help too.

The Written Word
Write down your favorite fantasy for your lover. Put your lover in the starring role and make love to him or her with your words. Nothing too flowery or sappy, but loving and romantic work. This is a good way to let your lover know you'd like to try something new and give them the ground works for being able to help you explore it. When I've written stories for my lovers I always make it as realistic as I can. It helps stoke their ego and gives them something to think about. More than once a tale has come true for me.

Send each other suggestive e-mails back and forth during the day. Suddenly have the discussion about getting the car's oil changed would become innuendos about lube jobs and pipe cleanings. My ex was fluent in several languages so sometimes I would send him e-mail with one sentence of what I would like to do with him later in Latin or German (thanks to Google's translation tool!) so that his co-workers wouldn't know what I was saying. Later when we were in bed he would reply then translate it for me by showing me what he had said.

Gestures
I used to be able to make my ex-boyfriend melt by licking my finger. Sometimes I would just be sitting at my computer and catch him glancing over at me and would lightly lick my fingers. The memory of what my tongue feels like when I do that to his cock would kick in and instant trigger. You can't do it all the time and it might not work all the time but it is nice to have in your arsenal. What sorts of things could you do that would remind your lover of things he/she loves in the bedroom?

Attitude
If you're grumpy or yelling at your partner you're much less likely to find them in the mood later. Help get them more in the mood by being more relaxed and friendly. Help out with dinner or watch his favorite show instead of reading without your partner having to ask. A bit of 'charity' and 'good spirit' go a long way towards making fun much more likely to happen.

Touching
Some touching can be incredible for The Warm Up. A caress here, an unexpected deep kiss, a gentle nipple tweak or nibble on the neck over the course of the evening can set your lover heading in the right direction. Some examples: Sneak up behind him and run your hand over his chest and stomach then stop at the belt for a few seconds before lightly running your hand over his groin. Smile then wink as you go on your way. While she's at the sink washing dishes, wrap your arms around her then nibble on her neck before going on your way.

Give your partner a massage to help relax them. I don't mean a sexual or erotic one, just a good, general purpose massage. Get the shoulders, neck, back, scalp or their hand and arms or feet. Whatever is feeling stiff and sore, massage and release the tension. If you're not sure how to do this get a book like Massage for Dummies.

If these things are new to your relationship start off small and slowly make them more a regular part of your relationship. If you try something and it doesn't work then try something a little bit different until you do find things that work. Let me know how it goes and what is working. Your experience might just help someone else!