I was talking to a friend the other night about my blog and its purpose. He said that my goal is nice and he would love to be having more sex but there just isn't time in their lives for it. That is a load of bullshit. I said it is no different than deciding to go to the gym to do a half hour workout. He said he'd never thought of it that way. Well, duh! Then he said he guessed sex was not as much a priority for them as it was for me and my partners.
When I was married we had regular sex from the time we started living together until things went really bad and we separated. He worked a full-time job while I worked various jobs, some were part-time and others full-time. He went to karate class twice a week. A few years after getting married we had a child. We were busy people with a lot of possible distractions and reasons to say "we're too tired to have sex" but we didn't. Sex was important to both of us and was a priority for helping to keep our relationship stronger.
Making it a Priority
Your sex life is only going to be better and more active if you choose to make it more a priority in your life. It isn't going to happen overnight and you will most likely have to make changes, possibly some major ones, in how things are done. And remember, you don't need an hour, though that would be wonderful! 15-30 minutes should be enough time to get mostly undressed and do the deed. Here are a few suggestions.
Schedule time to be intimate. Instead of going to the gym one night a week, choose to stay home and have a 'workout' in the bedroom. You'll still be burning calories and improving your general state of being.
Put a lock on the door. Tell the kids "it is Mommy and Daddy time" when the door is locked. Unless someone is really sick, seriously hurt or bleeding don't let them in. This will not only allow you the freedom to be intimate but it will also help your kids learn that parents need to take time for themselves too and will hopefully carry that thru to their relationships.
Pad the walls to keep sounds from the outside world from leaking in or your moans from leaking out. If you can't feel comfortable having sex because of the noises, then see what you can do about keeping them either in or out. If you can't relax then you're not going to enjoy the sex, if you're able to get that far.
Take advantage of unexpected moments of free time. The kids are at the neighbor's house playing for an hour or so and you're all alone. Put down the rake and mop and get your butts up to the bedroom! The kids are wrapped up in watching a movie that is an hour and a half long. Make sure they have snacks and something to drink then get yourself to the bedroom.
Send the kids to Grandma's or Aunt Peggy's house for the evening or an overnight visit at least once a month. As much as you need to make time to have sex become more a part of your life you also need to make time to be a couple. So many couples forget this and never have time to relax. If you can't afford to go out, have a picnic on the living room floor ... or, better yet, in bed!
It is the new year and it's not too late to make a few new resolutions. Make a resolution today, as a couple, to make spending intimate time a priority in your relationship and put the 'seal' on it by actually making the time to have sex.
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2 comments:
All this talk about keeping noises in and out and sending the kids to a relatives reminds me of a time, in mid-act, the beau and I discovered some neighbor kid standing on our patio looking in. Just about the time we saw him, his father came jogging and swooped him up. *handforehead*
LOL! There were a few times when my boyfriend and I were having sex that my daughter woke up and came to our bedroom. We managed to untangle before she got into the room and we looked like normal in bed (other than the flushed faces and heavy breathing!). Thankfully we were able to get things sparked up again after she was safely tucked back in bed and finished what we started.
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